Blabber

"We assume that we know how someone is going to react to us. We assume that our efforts will or will not be successful. And not only do we believe our assumptions about what other people are thinking, but then we end up taking those assumptions personally and even end up resenting the person. To avoid assumptions, ask questions. It takes courage to trust the present moment, to allow other people to be exactly who they are, and to let life unfold according to its own plan… and it avoids a great deal of suffering." - Don Miguel Ruiz

I'm reserved by nature. I know some of you are laughing about this. No, the things that don't matter I will ramble on and on endlessly about, but the things that do matter - it's fairly safe to assume you have little idea.

I recently asked someone reasonably close to me for some advice and began the story with, "I'm so stressed, I really just need an objective opinion." Before I could even ask the advice, this person, that knows me fairly well said, "What? What do you have to be stressed about?"

I laughed.

"No, really, Amanda. You never appear stressed, what's going on?"

So I rambled the list. When I was done he said, "Shit. I had no idea. Most people would be curled up in the fetal position in the corner of some room in a pysch ward."

Yeah, you think? But I tried to redirect the conversation back to the original question which was far more personal than the things I am comfortable sharing. He had some good opinions, and the conversation forced me to make some uncomfortable declarations along the way.

Later the same day, someone came to my home and made some confessions of their own to me. It left me feeling very burdened and very drained. Some of these things were opinions on me and my life, others were requests of me and still others were his own issues that have no impact on me, but burden me nonetheless.

It got me to thinking: How just is it to make confessions to another? Big or small? How fair is it to reveal your soul to someone having precious little idea how your words will impact them?

One the one hand, I see it as personally liberating; there are plenty of things that I would love to share with others. Perhaps it is my inability to be self-disclosing, perhaps it is just because sometimes people's confessions burden me, but I'm struggling to believe that it is acceptable to share with another in such a way. You might hurt them, even when that was not your intent.

I have always tended to tread lightly with the feelings of others and now I'm struggling with sharing my soul. How do you do that, knowing that mere words may carry the power to alter life - irrevocably?