Crossroads

"I'm afraid of death, but even more afraid of wasting my life. I'm afraid of love, because it involves things that are beyond our understanding; it sheds such a brilliant light, but the shadow it casts frightens me." - from Brida, by Paulo Coehlo

I recently had the pleasure of reading Brida, Coehlo's best novel in quite some time. Perhaps that's not true, perhaps it found me at the right time. It's interesting. I have a good friend who is astute and funny and caring and who I enjoy spending time with a great deal. We had an intense chat one night over coffee at Mozart's about life, love, God and the quest for a "Soul Mate". I asked him if he had ever read The Alchemist and he said that he had not. The next day, I ran to the bookstore to purchase it for him.

Once there, I see the newest tome on the shelf and grab it for myself as a quick scan of the back told me all I needed to know - not only is it written by the most brilliant author currently living, it's about a quest for a Soul Mate. I knew I'd love it and I was eager to dive in.

I'm at this strange crossroads where I have to sit back and watch my life unfold a bit. An unusual spot for me, a role I'm uncomfortable with, but one that I must embrace.

Spotless

Well, it would appear that my body has completed the purge that was, in retrospect, painfully necessary.

Now, the rest of me is catching up. I spent last night (and will resume shortly) cleaning my personal environment. No, I don't mean scrubbing the floors and what not (although that is part of it). I mean cleaning. Cleaning out closets - the literal action for a metaphorical event.

This was largely spurred on by the arrival of a ton of furniture from my childhood home. I had to declutter to make room for the stuff. BUT, it's also the natural result of what I've been experiencing lately.

I'm thrilled. I feel very relaxed. I have nothing terribly exciting on the horizon and I'm totally fine with that. The last several and the next several days will be about re-ordering and re-organizing.

On Tuesday, I expect the culmination of the events of the last month. I have my post-op visit with the doctor and hopefully will get clearance to resume all normal activities - I'm growing rapidly since I haven't been able to exercise and my brain is rapidly deoxygenating. Also on Tueday, the carpet cleaners are coming and they are much needed.

Then, hopefully my house will be as close to perfect as one could expect and maybe, just maybe, I'll find myself crawling into my now-beautiful and oh-so-comfy bed with my laptop able to write again.

I have three stories in various states of completion, one that is desperate to be written - and I just haven't been able to make that happen. It's OK - there have been other matters that have required urgent attention.